maps and moonrocks

by James Burrow

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released July 8, 2016

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James Burrow Cookeville, Tennessee

James is a 23 year old trans musician from Cookeville, TN.

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Track Name: tiny man
Inside me there's a tiny man
He spends his time
Painting on the walls of my brain
Covering up memories
And if we're being honest
His work often gives me severe migraines

And at night when I close my eyes
He's pounding on my skull,
Screaming that he jut can't get to sleep
And when I go out with my friends
He tells me we're not wanted
That I should just pick up my things and leave

Tiny man
Leave me be
I cant get you out from inside of me, I know
So lets make peace
I'll sign a treaty
If you'll just
Just leave me alone

And that tiny man knows me well
Well enough to call my bluff
when I say i'll do anything it takes
Tried to evict him once before
But turns out, he's a part of me
And he always finds a way to escape

The doctor gave me pills to make him quiet
But even with the sound turned down
Some days he just screams and screams and screams
Tells me that i'm just no good
And I try to ignore it
But there's still a toll on my self-esteem

Tiny man
Leave me be
I cant get you out from inside of me, I know
So lets make peace
I'll sign a treaty
If you'll just
Just leave me alone
Track Name: better with you
Sunsets, a warm bed
Late nights, a long drive
Sundays, a new place
These are things that would be better with you

Take my hand, we'll make plans
To go all the places that you wanna go
I knew when I met you
That you were someone that I wanted to know

Your kind eyes, how they shine
And you look at me and I feel like you're seeing
Who I am
And you understand
And I wonder if you're feeling what i'm feeling

Long talks and scenic walks
These are things that I am looking for with you
And it scares me how quickly
I am falling when all this is so new

'Cause i've been hurt
And I am sure
You have too, but you're still here with me
But I promise to try my hardest
To be as gentle with you as I can be

Your kind eyes, and that sweet smile
And you look at me and I feel like you're seeing
Who I am
And you understand
And I wonder if you're feeling what i'm feeling
Track Name: coming out letter
You call a name out from the door
But it's not my name anymore
You say you're grieving what you lost

When I went and cut my hair
Caught you crying on the stairs
You said my little girl is gone

And you said what will people say
When they find out you're this way
They'll say I raised you wrong

And there goes my career
Everyone knows us here
How could you do this to me?

And you still speak my dead name
And have it on your Facebook page
You just can't put it to rest

I just want you to be proud
But I can't see that happening now
Now that you think i'm someone else

And when I came out to you
You turned away from me and I knew
That you'd tear up my letter

And you said what did I do wrong
It must be something that i've done
I swear I taught you better


And nothing much has changed
since I told you that day
You still watch the right wing news
And sometimes dish out abuse
There's people like me on tv
But you just talk shit at the screen
When will I ever be
More than a disappointment to you?
Track Name: good takes time
I am filled with
I am filled with a brilliant light
Oh, it shines in me like a beacon on the darkest night

I am worthy
I am worthy of my own love
What a radical notion
To know that I am enough

I am healing
I am healing from all my wounds
Oh, they've taught me about patience
Sometimes good takes time to shine through

I am learning
I am learning to ask for help
That it's not a sign of weakness
To admit I can't do it all by myself

I am growing
I am growing up today
I am finding my rhythm
I am finding my way

I am healing
I am healing from all my wounds
Oh, they've taught me about patience
Sometimes good takes time to shine through
Track Name: exit 11
I still remember our first date
I was so nervous my hands had started to shake
As we walked outside in the sun that day
I knew with you, I'd won and I felt safe

Remember the time that we went to the beach?
Ate sandwiches filled with sand and burnt our feet
And in the water that day we were free
I never felt so okay being me

Now you're an exit on the highway
I keep passing up
I try to throw my brakes
But I can't slow down fast enough
I keep checking my rearview
I'm looking for a way to turn around
But I don't see well in the dark
And the sun is going down

You told me you loved me on a Sunday afternoon
Played the piano and sang me a pretty tune
I swear I knew right then that it was you
And you just smiled and I knew that you felt it too

Like a bad movie, I knew how it would end
Told me that you still want to be my friend
But i'm never good at saying what I mean
You asked me for my thoughts and I couldn't speak

Now you're an exit on the highway
I keep passing up
I try to throw my brakes
But I can't slow down fast enough
I keep checking my rearview
I'm looking for a way to turn around
But I don't see well in the dark
And the sun is going down
Track Name: introspection
Look in the mirror
What do you see?
I'm just seeing a different side of me
A side more patient and kind
Than what's been on my mind
I look in the mirror
That's what I see

All these people running around
I'm just trying to find a place to quiet down
'Cause I don't know how to talk without running my mouth
So right now i'll be quiet and just do without

I know, I know i'm growing up
I know I know I'm learning love
I'm looking at myself for a change
And i'm liking what I see it's safe to say

I'm learning I have good to offer the world
I'm not my flaws or past bitter words
And i'm learning I have worth
And i'm happy now
But i'd be just as worthy if I weren't

Sometimes peace is hiding in the silence
I like how it slips in and lives inside me
And i'm finding that it's fine
Whatever's on my mind
'Cause thoughts are only thoughts and they're not actions

I know, I know i'm growing up
I know I know I'm learning love
I'm looking at myself for a change
And i'm liking what I see it's safe to say