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growth and rebirth

by James Burrow

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1.
Wish I knew you way back when Back when we were little kids And I rode my bike down the street from your house We would walk to school each day, And I'd chase all your bullies away And I'd give you the best parts of my brown bag lunch We would play hide and seek I would kiss your skinned up knees And we'd grow up better for knowing each other Feels like I've known you all my life Oh, sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself You give me a feeling that I can't deny I want to spend my life with no one else Except for you And I know the future can't be told, But I hope I know you when we're old And we'll race our wheelchairs down the halls of the nursing home We'll play pranks on all the staff They'll scold us but we'll only laugh Cause we know that they'll still like us anyway You can join my cribbage game And when you win I won't complain Cause I'll just be happy to have you around Feels like I've known you all my life Oh, sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself You give me a feeling that I can't deny I want to spend my life with no one else Except for you Except for you Except for you Except for you I want to spend my life with you
2.
Floating out in space I saw The tiniest astronaut I waved at her And she at me Out there in the Milky Way With my skin made of paper mache I would bare it all to feel the sun I realized I too was small In the grand scheme of it all We're all tiny floating specks of dust I wanna be with the stars in the sky Lost to oblivion, no one beside me
3.
I'm living at the bottom of the sea I've cast away my old life; it's no good to me Sometimes I miss my toes in the sand But the glamour wore off; I couldn't do it again Mm-m I've crafted up some portable lungs Now I can breathe underwater, live away from the sun The fish aren't much for conversation But the quiet feels nice these days I used to live among the people They didn't understand why I was so blue I thought it might be better down here With just me and the whales that are passing through I'm living at the bottom of the sea With no one's expectations of who I should be I don't have to leave to go to work I just swim all day, the ultimate introvert I made some clothes out of some seaweed So not even marine life can see me Honestly, sometimes I feel so alone But I know that it's too late I used to live among the people They didn't understand why I was so blue I thought it might be better down here With just me and the whales that are passing through I know I can't go back I know I can never go back I've gotten used to this constant current The pressure will crush me if I go back to the surface I know I can't go back I know I can never go back I made my choice when I jumped in the Atlantic I was calm it was no moment of panic
4.
I don't know where I am I think last night I fell in a black hole and lost myself I don't know where i've been All I know is where I want to be I am soft I am gentle I am learning to love myself I am new I am growing I am learning how to love myself I don't know why I try To beat myself up for the person that I used to be All I know is it's a lie When I tell myself that i'm fucked up eternally It's so easy to be impatient When I feel that I am stagnant But I remember where I came from And I know this life's a good one I am soft I am gentle I am learning to love myself I am new I am growing I am learning how to love myself
5.
Interlude 01:45
6.
I want to tell you how How I feel about About you baby now that I've got you around When I met you, my eyes Like a desert were so dry You washed the sand away When you walked into my life I want to kiss you and I want to be your man If you understand Tell me baby Your pixie dust kisses So sweet, I'm flying So sweet, I'm flying And deep like an ocean, My heart has decided My heart has decided You make my heart do loop-de-loops I want to hold your hand and make you soup When I just look at you, things fall into place When I look at you, I'm home And I never want to go And if you want, I'm right here for you Right here for you Your pixie dust kisses So sweet, I'm flying So sweet, I'm flying And deep like an ocean, My heart has decided My heart has decided Your pixie dust kisses So sweet, I'm flying So sweet, I'm flying And deep like an ocean, My heart has decided My heart has decided
7.
Dust is spinning Around my head and I Breathe it in and feel the silence seeping through my pores A split decision And every second counts Stretched out before me Are all the things I've done Can't look back now I made a promise To be gentle with myself Turn the anger into love and put it on my shelf I'm inconsistent But nothing if not sure If I'm persistent One day I won't be so insecure Every day is a new day I'm alive, I'm alive Like a phoenix born from fire, From the ashes I will rise Don't know what's waiting, Don't know what's out there Or what tomorrow has in store Today I'm happy And I've been waiting For a feeling worth waiting for Passing faces Connections to be made And I have problems relating to them Some things haven't changed If I keep trying, I know I'll figure out the key Before I worry about those people, I've got to worry about me Every day is a new day I'm alive, I'm alive Like a phoenix born from fire, From the ashes I will rise Don't know what's waiting, Don't know what's out there Or what tomorrow has in store Today I'm happy And I've been waiting For a feeling worth waiting for Every day is a new day I'm alive, I'm alive Like a phoenix born from fire, From the ashes I will rise Don't know what's waiting, Don't know what's out there Or what tomorrow has in store Today I'm happy Today I'm happy And that's a feeling worth waiting for
8.
106 03:13

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released October 12, 2015

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James Burrow Cookeville, Tennessee

James is a 27 year old trans musician from Cookeville, TN.

James' pronouns are he/him or they/them. His music primarily focuses on his journey with recovery and his experience transitioning in the rural South.

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